Know When to Hold ‘em, Know When to Fold ‘em

I have received many comments on my articles from women who seem not to know when a guy is just not interested in them. It really is surprising that women still don’t realize when a guy doesn’t have a great deal of interest in them or has lost interest. Here are five common situations that women find themselves in and can’t understand what is really happening:

Why did he take my number and not call?

There are several reasons a guy would do this. Perhaps the two of you were engaged in a nice conversation and he felt obligated to take the number. Sometimes guys have conversations with women, but really aren’t interested in dating them. They foolishly ask for a girl’s number knowing that they have no intention of ever calling them. A guy feels that he would be offending the woman if he didn’t take the number so he asks for it anyway.

A guy might also have been looking to only hook up with a woman that evening. Instead, he met a girl who engaged him in conversation or even some kissing. Oftentimes, the guy just wanted a little action and when he realizes it’s not going any further than that, he will simply ask for the number as a way of being able to leave gracefully.

We had a great first date. Why didn’t he call me after that?

It is not always easy to know if both parties enjoyed themselves on the date and had sincere interest in each other. Perhaps one person did and the other didn’t. Maybe one sees the other as just a friend due to a lack of physical attraction or something else. Either way, “good” first dates aren’t necessarily good for both parties.

A woman should wait to hear from the guy after the date. If she doesn’t hear from him, he simply isn’t interested. If he waits a week, he has marginal interest no matter what his excuse is for waiting a week to call. A guy who has interest in seeing a girl for a second date will call within three days.

I had sex with him, but he hasn’t called me in a week.

Hopefully you didn’t sleep with him on the first date because he isn’t going to call you. Move on. He used you for sex and has no interest in dating you. Chalk it up to experience and move on. Just don’t do it again.

However, if you have been dating and sleeping together for a while, then something is wrong. Feel free to call him and find out what happened. He owes you an explanation for why he is acting like an ass.

Why do I (the woman) always have to call HIM and ask HIM out?

You don’t and you shouldn’t. If you can’t figure out what is wrong here, shame on YOU. He doesn’t take you seriously and only has marginal interest in spending time with you. When a guy continues to act aloof, he really isn’t interested and you should move on to bigger and better things.

We have been dating for almost three months and he hasn’t committed to me?

This situation is a little different than the ones above. In this case, it’s time for a conversation. Be direct and to the point. If you want a committed relationship, three months is the time to discuss it. If not, go with the flow. Specify exactly where you see the relationship going. His timetable might be a little different than yours, but ask him about his feelings and where he expects the relationship to go.

It’s easier said than done but you need to think with your head and not your heart. Consult your friends because they can view your situation objectively and will usually be able to give you good advice. If you are not getting what you want in a relationship, move on. It is easier said than done, but being in a bad relationship is much worse than having no relationship at all.

I appreciate all of the comments and emails I have been getting over the past few months. Should there be a topic you would like me to write about in the future, please let me know. I look forward to hearing from you.


About Author

Alex Wise is CEO of – the fast-growing online dating site. The site uses your responses to pair you with compatible dates across New ZelandNetherlands, DenmarkSweden, Norway and etc, promising a high accuracy rate as long as you know what you want and are honest about it. He has been covering online dating, relationships, online and marriage niche since 2008. He loves sharing meaningful content that educates and inspires people to bring their dreams into reality


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